The Feeling When It All Works Out
by SineTimore
Summary: A quick post-ep for 05x21 (or 05x22, if you prefer), Still. *one-shot*


**Disclaimer: ** My intentions are not pure enough for broadcast television.

**AN:** A thank you to Ernest Greene aka Washed Out for a title that I love. If you aren't familiar with his music, please run don't walk to have a listen. If you start with _Eyes Be Closed_, you'll never want to leave.

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_**The Feeling When It All Works Out**_

Gates asked Ryan to drive them both home, though Beckett insisted that she was more than capable of doing so without help. That didn't surprise the captain, of course; Beckett never asked for much. But this time it was non-negotiable, the day being what it was, all of those hours in that room, her body still but her mind no doubt racing a mile a minute. Victoria Gates hadn't risen to her current position within the NYPD without her share of close calls. She understood, in some part, at least. This, though, her detective's experience, after everything else she'd been through- she knew that a ride home was a woefully inadequate gesture, but small was the framework within which Kate Beckett allowed most to operate. Small was all she had.

They sat close in the backseat, Castle's hand atop hers, Beckett's fingers woven amongst his. They were quiet and Ryan understood. There would be time for details later. He glanced at them in the rearview mirror as often as traffic would permit it, found it impossible not to, really. She caught him once and each offered the other a grin, both grateful to be able to share moments like these, Rick and Kate moments, openly now- and still. She clasped Castle's hand a bit tighter then and didn't let up until they pulled up to her building. Of course he was coming up, he told her, with assurances that she hadn't even needed to ask. He probably would've scared her if he'd told her just how much he wanted to be there with her, needed to be there. Probably.

She reached for his hand again as they entered the building, not taking any time for granted now. That had happened far too often. She pulled him to the back of the elevator immediately, her aching feet screaming in silent praise of the relief the railing afforded. He positioned himself in front of her, close, his chest a soft place for her head to fall. He wondered if she could feel his heartbeat, wondered if she would understand the origin of its haste, even now, after hours had passed. A chime marked their arrival at her floor. He clutched her hands in his and moved backwards from the elevator car and along the hallway to her door, never once taking his eyes off of her to give attention to his path. She guided them both.

She hadn't even set her keys down on the kitchen counter before she'd pulled him to her. She'd spent so many hours inside that damn red circle alone, his body so tantalizingly close and yet so impossibly far away. He rocked her gently, she held him firmly. "Hey," he said in little more than a whisper, "I'm going to go run you a bath and then make you something to eat okay?" He pressed his lips against her forehead in a soft kiss that lingered.

"Will you…" she paused to gather her words. "I'd really just like to feel you against me right now, Castle. Will you sit with me?"

That was all he wanted.

"Of course I will. Whatever you need, Kate," he agreed. "I'll go and start the water."

"Thanks," she replied softly. "And, Castle," she called after him as he moved across the room, "just so you know, I don't _need_ you with me, I _want_ you with me."

He smiled modestly and nodded before he disappeared from view.

**XXX**

The slow drip of the bathtub's faucet echoed in the still of the room. The smooth skin of her back rested against the warmth of his chest and her body moved only as his breath dictated. "You're quiet. What are you thinking about?" she asked, running her fingers along his thigh. She honestly couldn't remember if _either_ of them had said anything at all since they'd sat down together.

"Gates," he answered in seemingly sincere tone. "She really surprised me today and that's not easy to do." He let his hand wander across her shoulder and travel over the scar between her breasts until it came to rest, hidden just below the water. "What are you thinking about?" he reciprocated.

"My dad- and what it would have been like for him if I-"

"Don't," he interrupted sternly. "Please don't."

She inched her body around to face him, his tone having startled her somewhat. "I'm sorry, Castle. I didn't mean-"

"No, _I'm_ sorry, Kate. I'm sorry," he apologized regretfully. "It's just…even the thought of losing you. I've already been through that once and I can't…" He hung his head in mid-thought and said nothing more.

She gripped both sides of the tub and slid forward into the cradle of his body, her long and fatigued legs wrapped around the lines of his hips. She pressed as much of her skin against him as their current configuration would allow while her fingers tickled the damp ends of his hair. "Castle," she whispered into the silence, "were you really thinking about Gates while in this hot bath naked with me?" Her attempt to lighten the mood, most often his self-imposed pursuit, was not at all subtle but entirely welcome.

He raised his head with a chuckle and his eyes met hers in expression of unspoken thanks. "No," he admitted, "I wasn't thinking about Gates."

"Tell me," she insisted, her voice soft with affection.

"Honestly, I was thinking about what it felt like to hear you say it and how desperately I want to hear you say it for the rest of my life."

"Well," she paused to brush her lips against his, "I think that type of honesty should be rewarded." She leaned in once more to kiss him, deeply, hotly, so he'd remember every second of it.

"Now that's the kind of reward I could get used to, Detective," he noted with erratic breath. "I do believe I feel a habit forming," he teased.

"You know what _I_ believe, Castle?"

"No, Beckett, what do you believe?"

"I firmly, absolutely, utterly, thoroughly believe…that I love you." He could only smile. "Now then, shall we discuss my reward?"


End file.
